Along the Natchez Trace

Friday, January 3, 2014

Monkey Shines and Other Silliness....

Bill & I walked into town this morning, and the monkeys were out and about...  guess now that the holidays are over, they can be themselves again.  
When I wrote about the monkeys before, I misnamed them...  these are the Howler Monkeys.  You can even see the blondish hairs alongside their torsos in some of the photos.

Q: How do you train King Kong?
A: Hit him with a rolled up newspaper building.

Q: Where do monkeys pick up wild rumors?
A: Over the apevine.

Q: What do you do with a blue monkey?
A: Cheer it up! 

Q: What did the banana say to the monkey?
A: Nothing. Bananas don't talk! 

Q: What do monkeys do for laughs?
A: They tell people jokes! 

Q: How do monkeys get down the stairs? 
A: They slide down the banana-ster! 

Q. What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a parrot?
A. Polly wants a cracker NOW!!!

Q. What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
A. Very lost!

Q. What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
A. It won't be long now.

Q. Why did the monkey cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off!

Q. Why did the monkey put a net over his head?
A. Because he wanted to catch his breath.

Q. What's black and white and has sixteen wheels?
A. A capuchin wearing roller skates!

Q. What kind of key doesn't open a door?
A. A monkey!

Q. What do you call a 2,000 pound gorilla?
A. Sir

Q. Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
A. Because he had to take care of some monkey business!

Q. What is smarter than a talking monkey?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What side of a monkey has more hair?
A. The outside.

Q. If you were in a jungle by yourself and a gorilla charged you, what would you do?
A. Pay him.

Q. If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?
A. Twenty after one!

Q. What do you call a Monkey in a tree?
A. A Branch Manager!!!

Q. What do you call a Monkey in a garden?
A. A Plant Manager!!

Enough of this Monkey Business!
The End!

That's All for today!


  1. Hmmm, thats some monkey business you have created.
    Have too much fun.

  2. Where in the world did you get all those??

  3. You got some great pictures of some of my relatives (at least my Mom always told me to quit monkeying around). Funny.

  4. Great pictures and lots of reminders of what I listened to when Todd was young. Major groan.

  5. well.... didn't you have fun! HAHAaaaa ... just terrible bad awful jokes... I just think it would be so very cool to walk to town with monkeys playing in the trees..

    I mean seriously... how cool is that! AND well, you made me do it ... gotta do it ....

    A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.

    The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"

    "Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."

    The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.

    Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.

    The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

    "Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

  6. In the beginning, I was howling, then I just settled for oop oop and scratched my sides.

  7. That is a lot of monkey jokes! Glad you're having such a good time "hanging out" with them.

  8. I couldn't stop myself, I had to read them all. Very good!

  9. How fun! I'd love to have so many monkeys entertaining me on my walks! They are so cute. I was thinking of sending my grandkids some of your monkey jokes - they'd love them! :)

  10. Sharon Wallace, first I would like bwa hahaha ... I thought you are odder than me. Are those all your blogs at the left sidebar? You outdo me, indeed. I have 100 blogs but too timid to show off on one blog, but you're better than to tickle everyone's fancy and funny bone. It's just great, ma'am.